Let’s reimagine feminism

Let’s reimagine feminism

What does our ability to handle complexity and radical change have to do with Gender Equality, Feminism, and Feminine Leadership Qualities?
A lot is my conclusion!

 

1968 - My paternal grandmother and mother

Here’s my story on how I’m connecting the dots.

My mother, born in 1928 in rural Sweden, was a feminist. One of the core messages she ingrained in me is: Don’t ever let yourself be dependent on a man!
My mother was completely dependent on my father, financially, and he was completely dependent on her, emotionally and physically. She took care of my father, five children, her alcoholic brother, her mother-in-law. She was the oil in the relational machinery, in our family, and in both my parents extended families. Her feminine presence coralled all of us. She had no driver’s license. She did all the grocery shopping by foot, one big bag in each hand: The weight has to be even, otherwise you will hurt your back. She cooked, she cleaned, she washed up. The discrepancy between her words and her life confused me. When I grew into my teens, we argued. My standpoint was that there was complete equality between me and my male friends, that the fight was over. Little did I know…

Fast forward. 40 years later, a corporate career, #Metoo, raising two daughters, the revival of conservatism, back-lashes on women’s rights, and more, has taught me that I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Another important aspect of ‘my piecing things together’ is that I’ve rebelled against the way we organize, lead and collaborate ever since the first time I set foot in an organization. Witnessing competent human beings, men and women, reducing themselves in the face of authority has always been painful to me. And working with senior leaders for the last twenty years has made me appreciate the pain of being taken hostage by systems that almost force us to become victims of our egos. Yes, I have been aware that women need to work twice as hard to be acknowledged. Yes, I have witnessed mansplaining and master suppression techniques. And yes, I do believe we would have a completely different, and better world if a majority of those in power were women. Yet, I haven’t found my voice in the work towards gender equality.

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me how much of the mindsets, unspoken norms, processes, practices, metaphors and language in our organizations are coded based on traditional masculinity. It makes perfect sense, since most organizations have evolved from a hierarchical, patriarchal, “power over” paradigm. This masculine codification has unfortunately also, somehow, snuck into the work towards gender equality. As a consequence, we inadvertently diminish feminine, or yin qualities, of leadership and silence important voices. I agree with Tamara Woodbury (see link to article below) that this subordination of the feminine is as harmful to men and boys as it is to women and girls. We waste everyone’s potential. And I trust that these qualities are readily accessible in all of us, if we just connect with them, value them, and allow them to surface.

We need to find new, viable and exciting roads to action, as the call for all of us to show up with our full selves has never been more urgent. Rapidly increasing complexity on all levels of systems, our interdependence being impossible to ignore, failing institutions, sky-rocketing mental illness amongst our youth, increasing polarization, the rise of extremism, the fragility of democracies, climate change…

So, I’ve immersed myself in how we can create organizations that embrace our humanity: Teal, Horizontal, Agile, Sociocratic. I’ve deep dived into how we can grow our inner capacity to better handle a complex, volatile and disruptive reality. And most recently, together with a group of women, I’ve taken an uncomfortable look at how I have internalized so much rubbish about what it means to be a woman. Disrespecting my body, disregarding my needs and wants, and my uniquely female experiences, as well as disparaging the power of my feminine energies and qualities in both life and work. An equally painful and empowering revelation. Passionate conversations with my 18-year old daughter is teaching me so much about legitimate anger, frustration, longing and grief.

At just the right moment, a few months back, I was introduced to ActionAid’s 10 feminist leadership principles, and something inside me softened and expanded. And they appear to have a similar impact on leaders that I’ve shared them with, men and women alike. ActionAid’s vision is a “just world free from poverty, oppression and patriarchy”, which they claim requires “transformative feminist leaders”. I may be a slow learner, but it was as if their principles married what’s needed in organizations and society with what I’ve come to recognise as deeply feminine in me. The road to social, political, and economic equality between men and women, as well as to organizational vibrancy, needs to be characterized by inclusion, dismantling bias, sharing power, keeping our egos in check, embracing both our vulnerabilities and our strengths, fairness, growing compassion and care for ourselves and for one another; Qualities and skills I see as both feminist and inherently feminine, or yin.

Can we reimagine feminism by uncovering the masculinity bias, and by valuing and infusing more of the feminine into the language and practice of our work towards gender equality? And thereby free up innate energy, life and love? Our journey towards equality, and equity, will inevitably ask for our willingness to embrace some challenging feelings. It is painful to acknowledge that we have power that we never asked for or earned. It is equally painful to own that we’re disempowered due to something that is out of our control.

It’s urgent to allow all of us to be whole human beings, not least at work. By joint effort, men and women together, we can unleash our full humanity and create organizations that are much better equipped to navigate complexity, uncertainty and radical change; Organizations that contribute to a more just and loving world.

I wish I could get my mother’s perspective on my thoughts…

Do you also want to reimagine feminism? Check-out the Reimagine Leadership co-creative conference. Our next online meet-up is on March 30th.

I can’t help but share a couple of links to stuff that I find inspiring and thought-provoking, that I hope all of you readers can add to your reading/watching list:

A Ted-talk with Rinat Sherzer: The bloody taboo with the power to change the world

Article: What’s Love got to do with it? Tamara Woodbury, CEO of the Girls Scouts — Arizona Catus-Pine Council Inc.

11 Mar 2021